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When parents decide to separate, they need to make decisions about child custody. Because the parents are now living in different places, they need to figure out where and with whom the children will live and a schedule for the children visiting the other parent. The best way to address these issues is to create a parenting plan.

A parenting plan during separation will include the times the children will spend with each parent, any upcoming holidays and where the children will spend their time, and any other information that the parents want to include. The parents can create the plan together and then go to court and have it made into a temporary custody order. Or, each parent can create the plan they want and go to court and have the judge decide. It’s better if the parents can come to an agreement together though, rather than leaving it in the hands of the court.

To decide where the children will live, the parents need to think about stability. It is in the children’s best interest to have a stable environment–especially because there is a lot of change in their family circumstances. If possible, the children should still live in their home. This means that the parent who stays in the home will most likely be the custodial parent. If the parents want to eventually have joint custody, they will need to work up to that (there needs to be some time for the other parent to establish a household).

The parents should consider work and school schedules as they come up with a visitation schedule. It’s important that children have about the same contact with their parents as before. This means that if both parents were very involved in the children’s lives, the parent who moves out should have frequent visitation with the children. Always think of your children’s best interest–even if it means inconvenience in traveling and shuttling back and forth.

Once your schedule is figure out, decide with the other parent about any provisions you want about custody during separation. Neither parent should plan on taking the kids on vacation during this time, and both parents should plan on keeping the other parent up to date on addresses, phone numbers, school issues, etc. Start good communication now so it carries over as you make your permanent parenting plan.

If you can establish a good temporary parenting plan, it will help you as things become more permanent. The more you can make decisions about your children together, the better your plan will work out. So, make a parenting plan right after separation to help your child custody situation.

Discover how Custody X Change can help with child custody & separation by letting you create the best parenting plan for you and your children.

Divorce is not necessarily the only way to approach infidelity. Forgiving is another option. Your marriage might survive adultery. But can you?

Adultery is the cause behind over 90 percent of the divorces in the United States. After the affair is discovered both spouses go into a deep emotional period of transition. For the betrayed spouse, marriage infidelity can be the catalyst for an array of emotions such as anger, shock, disbelief, depression and intense pain. For the adulterer it can trigger guilt, shame and remorse. The whole family is affected by adultery. Both partners and their children will go through an adjustment period.

One thing many behavioral researchers agree upon is that you must not make any critical decisions while you are still under the intense feelings of having found out that your spouse has cheated on you. The severity of your pain may blur your perspective of what is best for you and your children. To cope with this painful situation, many professionals recommend that you give yourself and your spouse some space. A temporary separation will give you the time you need to cool down and sort things out. Now what will happen to the children during that period of time?

This is one of the many situations in which a custody and visitation plan comes in handy. You cannot penalize your children for your spouse’s misbehaviors. After all, he or she may have been a good parent. If that is the case, you still must allow your children to share time with your spouse. It has been proven by many psychological studies that children benefit from the interaction of both parents in their life.

A visitation calendar would give you and your spouse the benefit of maintaining your relationship with your children, while you and your partner work on your marital issues. You and your spouse should be able to plan a fair visitation schedule, so that your children do not have to go through the pain of an abrupt separation from one parent. The visitation calendar should provide the opportunity for both parents to share equal time with the children.

When undergoing a temporary separation due to infidelity, you must be able to handle your own pain while managing your children’s need at the same time. A visitation schedule will give you the time you need to go to counseling, therapy, and/or take any steps you need to heal emotionally. It will also give the children the joy of keeping a relationship with their other parent.

Surely there are some couples that should reconcile after an incident of infidelity. However, if infidelity has been the norm within your marriage, then you might not have a marriage at all. In those cases, even though forgiving is recommended in order to move on, you do not necessarily have to forget. Whatever your decision after your temporary separation, a visitation calendar is an excellent tool for handling these difficult times. Take advantage of it.

Get the tools you need to create your child visitation schedule and find out how Custody X Change can help you make the perfect parenting plan.

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