Are you a parent who came across exceptionally well-behaved and motivated children, and then wondered why your own children do not have such qualities? Do you then start doubting your parenting skills and wonder what exactly it is that you could possibly have missed out on?

Many experienced practitioners in the field of education contend that all parents are keen for their kids to grow up as bright,obedient, successful, honest and energetic. There are also a host of complementary studies that set about trying to discover what was going wrong with the methods that do not work, and why good parenting skills results in a satisfied and life-long relationships with their happy children.

One of the first things that stood out very clearly was that ‘Difficult children, are a result of un-informed and ill-equipped parents’. At the end of the day, it is parents who are primarily responsible for how their children ultimately turn out to be, and the role they are to play in society.

It is almost a non-negotiable that parents need to themselves decide what proper and improper behavior is actually all about, and to clearly distinguish between right and wrong. Children emulate or copy the behavior patterns of grown-ups, and especially that of their parents. The issue of good parenting skills goes deeper than its face value as it also takes cognisance of conscious and subconscious signals that can be positively or negatively interpreted by the child.

Parental authoritarianism or being too lenient is not advised, but a well balanced and subtle mix of democracy and firmness is needed. Discipline is not to be seen as punishment, but rather as a boundary type of guideline, which cannot be overstepped at will. There is no doubt that parents who take a serious personal interest in their children on a day-to-day basis, are able to spot major behavior deviations early and take appropriate remedial measures.

The demands of our modern living environment can also have an influence and parents who are too busy with their business, professional or social activities cannot hope to enjoy good rapport with their kids. They should be on their guard, particularly when the child is approaching their teens, as hormone changes are creating stress for the child’s personality. Parents have to be on hand to act as mentors,counselors and companions, without being too over bearing.

Positive habits which must be cultivated includes listening attentively to the child, letting children enjoy privacy, having family meetings, reinforcing good behavior, and establishing an atmosphere of trust. Most important is also to give praise where it is due as this is about recognition and therefore act as a powerful motivating factor.

For those parents that are fortunate enough to already have dream children, good for you. It does however not mean that you cannot learn any more, as becoming a person with great parenting skills is a lifelong learning process. For parents who want to fast-track their learning, there are a host of resources available, but be careful to choose the right ones.

Gerard Mohamed is a father of two teenage daughters, and passionate about great parental skills and motivated children. He maintains that 95% of the advice relating to good parenting is too theoretical and therefore useless. To get an immediate insight of the other 5% that is practically orientated, and will deliver positive results within a matter of seven days, please go to

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