Monthly Archives: August 2015

 

Must-know parenting tips to help you in being a better parent.

Disciplining your child is one of the most important and complex aspect of parenting. Never meant to be easy, parenting in current age is undergoing several changes and evolving constantly. Parents’ role has undergone a transformation and they are far more involved in their child’s nurturing and growth than ever before. Every thinkable parenting solution and parenting help is being put in place for encouraging a healthy natural development of the children.

Parents today are adopting different parenting styles for the betterment of their kids and modifying it with the changing demands of the time. A big aspect of parenting involves disciplining the child for their better and wholesome development. This is the part where parents need to follow an approach that encourages their kids to acquire good behavioral qualities and not be intimidated in any way.  With the ever changing environment and moral standards, parents are increasingly seeking parenting help to find that perfect parenting solution which disciplines their kids without discouraging them.  There is a need for parents to understand that discipline and punishment are not the same things. Discipline is what makes the child grow intellectually, empowering him with the ability to exercise better judgment in various situations. On the other hand punishment is just a means of implementing the discipline process.  Many times parents guided by information, education articles available online; end up equating punishment with discipline. Looking for parenting help, they consider a parenting solution to be a set of punishments that can be handed down as per the situation. This is not the case as parenting style is different under each circumstance.

Giving kids physical punishment or spanking them every time they leave a mess in their room or the table is not much of help. This only leads to increased anxiety and fear in the child which eventually affects kids education. It may give the child an insight into what he or she is not supposed to do but it cannot tell what they should do.  Physical punishment only lowers the child’s self-esteem and increases his anger and aggression. In such a case teaching them what is the right alternate behavior is difficult.

Parents need to distinguish the fine line existing between pampering and encouragement. Yes being patient and loving while disciplining your kids is important but not to the extent of making them dependent extensively on that tenderness. Encouragement is what makes kids realize their capabilities and enables them to strengthen it. It is also a way of helping them recognize their weaknesses and empowering them to improve upon them. This is what makes the child confident and secure enough to know where he lacks and work upon improving it without being anxious.

Pampering your kids as part of their disciplining process is not a very good idea since it runs the risk of bringing in an ungrateful attitude towards their current situation. Parents should realize that excess of praising can develop an unhealthy attitude towards competition and failure.

A good parenting solution is that which encourages kids to develop a sense of responsibility along with the ability to distinguish between right and wrong. Parents need to develop a style of their own which is befitting their child’s need and is not just based on factual information. 

If you are in the midst of a divorce or even if you have been divorced for awhile, Texas divorce parenting classes can help you manage anger with your ex spouse.

Not only does dealing with your own anger enable you to feel happy and whole again, it also helps you become a better parent to your children. Anytime a marriage ends, no matter the reason, children are overwhelmed with emotions. Getting your own anger and resentment toward your spouse resolved will help you better deal with your children as they cope with the aftermath of divorce.

Here are some tips to help you keep your cool:

1. Choose to diffuse. If your former spouse is shouting, opt to be the calm one in the situation. You may be met with verbal attacks and hostility when exchanging the children for a weekend visit. You could simply answer your phone and have your ex launch into an argument. Whatever the case, choose to diffuse the situation by remaining in control of your words and your behavior. Do not lash out, do not engage in an argument that will end with nothing getting resolved. Ask your spouse nicely to remember you have children who are affected by this divorce. Tell your ex you will gladly speak about any issue of concern in a calm, civil manner like two responsible adults. Refrain from being condescending, but promptly end any escalating conversation until your ex is no longer shouting. Offer to sit down, in a public place, and resolve whatever the problem may be over coffee.

2. Let the kids be kids. Never involve your children in adult matters. Don’t criticize your ex, discuss child support payments or speak negatively about anyone new in your former spouse’s life. This will only hurt your children and cause them to feel torn between two fighting parents.

3. Remember what matters most. Don’t bring your personal issues into conversations about your children. For instance, if your ex-spouse was unfaithful, that is in the past. You are divorced or in the process and it’s time to move on from the old problems and start your new life. Focus on what matters most – your children. Deal only with the issues affecting your kids. If you think only about your children and relating to your former spouse as a co-parent, that may help you put your anger issues aside.

It’s natural to feel resentful to a former spouse who has hurt you, but be the grownup in the situation. Seeking counseling to cope with your prior relationship issues will certainly be of benefit, but take advantage of divorce parenting classes to help you put the anger aside when co-parenting with your ex spouse.

Tony Tovar is a writer and researcher living in Austin, Texas. Over the years he has become an authority on texas divorce parenting classes. If you would like to learn more about this subject, then the author recommends a visit to  http://www.txparent.com.

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