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Parenting with Love and Logic : Teaching Children Responsibility (eBooks)

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Parenting with Love and Logic by Jim Fay and Foster Cline (eBooks, 2006)
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Do you remember how difficult it was for you as a child to learn to ride a bicycle? Now your children face the same challenge. Children have the curiosity to do many new things but at times they are afraid to try anything new because of the initial difficulty. Being children, they tend to get discouraged quickly. As parents, you need to help your children understand the importance of taking small steps at a time.

Take one step at a time

No great achievements in this world were accomplished with one grand gesture. Rather all achievements are a result of many small steps which may seem ordinary but they are the ones which make the goal achievable. Each goal is accomplished step by step. There are no shortcuts to success.

“Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.”

– Dale Carnegie

Just as millions of water drops make an ocean, a mountain is climbed one step at a time. Similarly you can achieve whatever you want by taking one step at a time. So if your child is disheartened that he is not able to ride a bicycle, you must encourage him to keep trying till he is able to do it.

Choose games in which your child must use her creative and constructive faculties. Let her think and find the solutions, step by step. Have you played scrabble with your child? You will be surprised to find how quickly your daughter picks up the game by thinking up small words and then moves on to create bigger and still bigger words. Enjoy losing to her because her win will give her confidence in her powers of thinking on her feet.

Encourage your child

Remember,  never push your child towards doing something he doesn’t want to. It could be that you love strumming the guitar but your son is fascinated with the drums. Let him start by learning to practice the easy beats first and then encourage him to play something which he is familiar with. He will love the experience of hitting the right notes.

Importance of taking small steps

The point behind taking small steps is that children, and adults, too, give up quite easily. We begin to believe that although we would love to achieve big goals, we don’t have the means or the capability to accomplish them. The truth is that nothing is impossible.

“Nothing is impossible. The word itself says I’M POSSIBLE” – Audrey Hepburn

 Nothing is out of reach for you. You just need to make your child understand to take joy in the little things he does and not to worry about the future.

Take joy in the small efforts

To make your future brighter, you need to make the most of the present. Encourage your children to give their best in whatever they are doing NOW. That is why so much importance is given to taking little steps at a time because that gives a sense of satisfaction that he or she is accomplishing something and working towards the end result.

Don’t push your child to take big steps

Don’t commit the blunder of pushing your child to take big steps and learn things fast. This will only cause your child to feel de-motivated and he will lose confidence and the spirit to try anything new again. As Louis Sachar rightly said,

“It is better to take many small steps in the right direction than to make a great leap forward only to stumble backward.”

As parents raising kids, it is your responsibility to constantly encourage your child regarding the efforts your child is making no matter how small those efforts are. Appreciation by parents can motivate children to try harder and to not quit. Besides it also strengthens the  child parent relationship.

Child behavior improves greatly when you create an environment at home in which the child feels loved and motivated. For this, you can read good books to your children, tell them stories of how the big cities were built by small but worthwhile efforts of individuals, how the grand monuments and the biggest inventions were created with small but definite and determined steps.

Inspirational videos for children, motivational stories and inspiring children quotes are all useful tools that convey the significance of making small efforts towards reaching a bigger goal. Spend time with your child to inspire their young mind and heart towards believing that every step counts, every time.

Noah Brown is a freelance writer who writes extensively on the child parent relationship and offers good parenting advice on raising children. She inspires her readers toward watching inspirational videos for children which provide useful parenting advice.

The authoritarian parenting style which has to do with parents setting down specific rules and regulations the children must obey (usually without any input from the children) has come under some serious watch. This has to do with the way the children raised under this style find it difficult to develop individual. This style of parenting practically denies the children of love and affection. There is always a feeling of insecurity among such children.

The question is: which style is better? The authoritarian or the unconditional style? The fact remains that each style has its own good sides as well as the negative sides. The style that offers more positive outcome when it comes to social behavior and development will definitely be the better style.

The authoritarian style clearly defines what should be done and what should not be done by the children. Punishments are also stated in case a child goes against any rule. Such punishments are effectively enforced if need be. The children are usually very obedient. The downside is that they grow in fear and find it difficult to develop their own ideas on issues.

The unconditional style of parenting is one that expects the parent to unconditionally show love and affection to the child irrespective of the way and manner the child behaves. This style plays down on punishment as a means of behavior control. Children are given a lot of room to learn from their mistakes.

In comparing these two styles, one has to consider certain factors of parenting which include: needs, affection and support.

1. Needs. Everybody has needs, children inclusive. When a child’s need is not met, the tendency is for the child to misbehave; a kind of rebellious attitude. When this happens, the parent should concentrate on the cause and not the end result. Parents should always try and identify the needs of the children and meet them to avoid any such resultant bad behavior.

The unconditional style favors giving a child what he/she needs as against punishing the child for the bad behavior that might not have arisen if the need was met in the first place. Authoritarian style focuses on what is expected of the child. Whether the needs are met or not is not important.

2. Affection. Unconditional style does not use achievements or behavior of a child as a basis to show love. The love must be shown unconditionally. Authoritarian style is based on punishment for bad behavior and rewards for good behavior. Children here are always afraid of trying out new things foe fear of failure.

3. Support. Those who favor unconditional parenting style believe that children need support always. Support is constant. It does not depend on behavior or achievements. Authoritarian parenting tends to give support when the child is behaving well. This usually comes in the form of praise.

There have always been arguments for and against each of the parental styles and such debates are not going to end any sooner.

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Obinna Odo


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